Note to Funeral Directors: This letter can be used to inform families about MySpace and Facebook. Please feel free to use it or edit it to your liking when assisting your families.

To the Families we serve:

During this time of the sudden loss of your child, I and my funeral home are here to support you and your family and also to assist you in creating a meaningful and personalized tribute for your son or daughter. Recently we have found that many young people belong to Internet social communities such as MySpace or Facebook and maybe your child was a member of one these.

These Internet services – called social networks - allow users to share their thoughts and interests and also connect with current and old friends and meet new ones. When someone who belongs to one of these online communities dies, their profile turns into an online memorial web page where their friends express their sympathies and condolences. These impromptu memorial sites can be a source of some comfort as many memories are shared. Families sometimes find hope, encouragement, and the discovery of the impact that their children had on the lives of others.

We would like to caution you though that these profiles sometimes can be a little surprising as users express themselves in what ever manner they wish to. Besides misspelled words, poor grammar and abbreviations, one may see profanity, suggestive photographs, and a uncensored glimpse into the personal lives of these young adults.

We suggest that you may have another family member or close friend to first review your son or daughter’s profile and then go through it with you. As well as being a source of support these profiles can assist in creating very meaningful funeral services. These profiles usually list favorite music, films, TV shows, books and even heroes – all information that can be incorporated into a personalized tribute service.

At this very difficult time, we realize that there is information coming to you from many directions and it may be difficult to absorb it all. We feel that it is our role to provide you with pertinent information and advise you how it may be used for the funeral and in the grieving process. I hope that this explanation has been helpful and please let me know if you need any further information about these online social networks or anything else about the funeral service.

Sincerely,
Robin Heppell
Your local funeral director

PS: A word of caution: There are other websites such as MyDeathSpace that chronicle the deaths of MySpace users. These new profiles are created when other users inform the website that someone has died. We are not promoting these sites but rather informing you that they exist. These sites get mixed reactions and if a profile of your son or daughter is created on one of these sites, you may choose to leave it on the website or you can request to have it removed.

More Assisting Families

• Letter to Bereaved Families regarding MySpace and Facebook Profiles